Monday, August 19, 2013

50 Shades

Had no time for summer reading thus far and September is approaching...conversations last night turned to Christian Grey so due to a special request for a repost...

Mini Mall Parking Lot
Studio City 
7:32am on a Tuesday
26 June 2012 

I have run out of milk and I race to the closest grocery store to find it opens at 8am. I am back in my car after a peek through the closed doors revealed a guy cleaning the floors and beyond him racks of Fifty Shades of Grey, Fifty Shades Darker & Fifty Shades Freed…It’s EVERYWHERE…It haunts me…He haunts me…I can’t get away from it…even at the grocery store…It is a phenomenon…
I too have fallen prey to Christian Grey…and I continue to ponder WHY?

It took a minute to get into the first book…I think I picked it up at least 8 times and just could not get past the first few pages. 

But at my friends persistence and women everywhere talking about CG, I picked it up for the 9th time and for whatever reason it kicked in…It took me over… I could not put the book down…For 3 days, 3 books it was me alone with Christian Grey…I felt like I was cheating on my husband.

This is no literary piece de resistance…In fact, I admit I skipped over parts and the redundancy became exhausting.

But the fact remains, I cannot stop thinking about CG…he consumes my thoughts. I am obviously in need of a distraction at this particular moment in time, for why else could I possibly be so taken by this man…the red room…I even have found myself checking my lingerie in the mirror…do I care if he rips this pair?

I hear a helicopter in the distance…Is it Charlie Tango?
I see a jogger pass by…The sun is beating down and creates crystals on his glistening, ripped body… Is that CG out for a morning jog?

How can I not think about him…everyone is talking about him.
I hear Bob Marley, “Everything is going to be all Right” blaring as a car pulls up next to me in the space beside me. It is an Audi…I mean really.

I find myself looking for the joggerwill he pass back my way on his return home?

It is now 7:52…The shop opens in 8 minutes…

8 more minutes to daydream about CG…Snap out of it…You are a 45 year old, happily married mother of three, working, busy and YOU ARE OBSESSED.

A great escape is how recently summed it up to a friend in Chicago having her own CG moment.  Who isn’t in need of a complete lobotomy now and again? That is what these 3 books have achieved…Call it a beach read…call it what you may…the bottom line is...It’s like a good movie, a great 2 day spa escape…a Calgon moment…It took me away for a moment…

Or two…

I see the store is now open…I have groceries to buy and 3 hungry kids and husband (who I now refer to as my 100 shades of black) waiting for me at home…