Wednesday, July 1, 2015

'Tis the Season

It is December 3rd and 70 degrees in Southern Cali…

That in itself makes it difficult for me to get in the holiday spirit.

That and the fact that I feel like Holidays 2012 was yesterday. How has a year passed already? The minute I leave the comfort of my house however, I am accosted with reminders that it has… Lights… Santa’s… Menorahs… It’s all happening… it’s beginning to look a lot like Christmas… and we are smack in the middle of Hanukkah.

I feel like the “Grinchess” who stole Hanukkah… Calling Scrooges everywhere, I need a visit from ghosts of Xmas past.

Nativity scenes and tree lots and carolers… OH MY!

I find comfort with the lazy shopkeepers who have yet to get rid of thanksgiving turkeys decorating shop windows. 'Tis the season to be Jolly… Fa la la Sounds more like ‘Tis the season to be grumpy… in my head!

Holiday music feels like nails on a chalkboard … I turn down the music on the car radio only to be succumbed to the louder noises in my head. Holiday music means presents… I haven’t shopped… just adding to the list of TO DO’s, which at this point looks more like a list of all the things I haven’t done.

Perhaps it’s the leftovers from last week. And I don’t mean the turkey. Parents, in laws… all of it… I am combusting in the aftermath… I am exhausted.

I seem to have a major case of the blah hum bugs.

I remember the days that the warm glow from the fire actually warmed me. And the thrilling anticipation of getting just what I wanted thrilled me. And the wonderful sense of giving filled me. It wasn’t that long ago… was it?

I feel like Dorothy clicking her ruby red slippers… I want to go back there.

I understand now why bears hibernate… they are smart. They wake up and tis the season has passed and they are well rested. Sounds like heaven. I am trying to remember when I lost sight that the world was my oyster. When life was without responsibility, and I magically received gifts I wished for. Oh yeah, it was when I became an adult! As if I needed a reminder, the holidays seem to be screaming at me, “YOU ARE NOT A CHILD ANYMORE!” Damn! What is happening to me? I love to shop and give and surprise my kids and family and friends. All of a sudden it seems holiday shopping is merely a form of torture. I am hanging on to the fact that my kids think the Grinch is cute. That is until Mommy turns into one.

OK Lady… this is where the road intersects… your choice… You may withdraw or do what you do best, plunge into action as a brave warrior in a losing battle.

I know, I know, as an adult, my delight comes from the realm of my inner child.

It is my job as a parent to help my children learn how to turn that delight on for themselves. It should be enough knowing what I know and seeing so many adults who are still learning how to create their own happiness and spend too much time waiting for someone else to turn that light on for them.

I will not let this case of the Blah Hum Bugs get the best of me. Kimberly Muller get it together…

I close my eyes and visualize me turning my light back on. I learned long ago when I saw Mommy kissing Santa Claus, that the secret in approaching the holidays is not to wait for others to make us happy; it is for us to create our own happiness.

What can I say; we all have momentary lapses of consciousness.

Bring it on Santa…