31 May 2012
When I first met my husband, Michael, he gave me a book to read before our “next date” The Four Agreements by Miguel Ruiz.
- Be impeccable with your word
- Don’t take anything personally
- Don’t make assumptions (remember the movie, The Bad News Bears, the coach writes on the blackboard, “don’t assume you make an ass out of u and me.” I have never forgotten that and I must have watched that movie at least 30 some years ago.
- Always do your best - Everything is alive and changing and it will always look different… no more and no less then your best.
That was ten years ago. A month ago, he handed it back… he thought perhaps I needed a reminder
Ruiz writes, “If you are going to live your life intensely you are going to be good to yourself, your family, your community but it is the action that will make you feel intensely happy. When you are always doing your best you take action doing your best because you love it not because you are expecting a reward.”
Great words to live by… teach our children and remind ourselves…
I just shared them with my friend whose wife is out of town and he was complaining about getting ready for her return and the “RE-ENTRY Period” he referred to. “After a week when we are finally all readjusted to having her home…she leaves again.”
He asked how I did it. Michael travels a lot.
I see the RE-Entry as Re-Connecting.
It is difficult having a partner, who travels, but this is life and duty calls and that may or may not involve travel. The bottom line for me, however, is the challenge to staying connected throughout the travels, so upon return there is no need for a “RE ENTRY Period” because we never lost our connection.
Easier said then done…I know… but like anything worthwhile it takes some work.
Write Love letters, talk on the phone… My husband and I fell in love via AT& T… When we first met we were never in the same city for an extended period of time and we would talk on the phone for hours…
Three kids later and a full day juggling all of it may not put me in the mood for an extended chat, but it only takes a moment to charge the connection in whatever way, shape or form that may look like to you or your significant other…
Way less energy spent then going through that dreaded “Re entry.”
When I think about how Michael and I stay connected, I realize we both honor Ruiz’s four agreements as well as a few of our own we have added along the way.
When you are impeccable with your word… you think before you speak and that’s important when one is away from their family and tired and had a long day… As hard it is to be the one left at home… imagine what it feels like to be away from home and the ones you love.
Don’t take things personally… HUGE… Just don’t… “Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me…”
ASS U ME… what’s the point!
If you always do your best in whatever the situation may be, there is no room for regrets.
Try it… you may like it and you may find that the Re-entry is something to look forward to.
